Narrator: In a world, hundreds of millions of miles from our own
Computer Voice: Initiating landing sequence
Narrator: where adventure is born
Joe: Hey Flynn. What’s all the gear for?
Flynn: Well, just getting ready for my next adventure with Captain Snakebait
Narrator: where heroes are forged
Tau: You see this? I don’t set for stun.
Narrator: and villains are deadly
Meltroculon: Feed the brood! Aaahhahahah!
Narrator: Is a place where bravery comes in all sizes
Narrator: a place of mystery
Murray: I am known my limitless names
Narrator: A place where people….drink and recognize other people
Tau: You know what he said to me one time? He said — oh fuuuuuck. Look who just walked in!
Flynn: THAT’s the robot deathray guy?
Narrator: A place made of music
Computer Voice: Tomorrow night is Karaoke night. Reminder that because of recent events, this is not a BYO microphone event
Narrator: where sincere friendships can be made
Flynn: Hey squad!
Tau. Not your squad!
Tau: I want you to hold onto this. It’s my phone number, attached to a pocket nuclear device wired to trigger if I get too annoyed.
Narrator: And Chivalry isn’t dead.
Chuzz: Excuse, I’ve had two wet beers and wish to copulate. Will you copulate with me
Vice Admiral Lucious Borrack: You bitch.
Narrator: A place where chimpanzees are allowed to smoke inside
Joe: No no no, not that door!
Tau: All due respect to the tale of the space monkey casino, but I believe Hektor was about to tell us what was going down with Bleu getting interrogated by that ILP jackbag
Narrator: And there’s a guy made up of six individual guys, all name Geoff.
Flynn: Hey Six Geoffs, what are you drinking?
Six Geoffs: [six different simultaneous responses]
Narrator: We don’t get it either
Narrator: Jupiter saloon. The only bar in the galaxy where you can settle your tab with a good story.
Computer Voice: Please prepare for our final approach. We are now landing at the Jupiter Saloon.
Narrator: make your way to Jupiter Saloon. because we’re pretty sure you left your credit card there last night anyway.
Bleu: Hektor, please give them a sense of how sorry we are
Hektor: I see my reputation precedes me. I assure you, only the most lugubrious aspects of the gossip are true.
Voice: Jupiter Saloon. Coming 2022 to an intergalactic truckstop dive bar near you.